Sadly, it turned out that she was the only one thinking that “it was a relationship”
My friend is a sweet girl and we are so close,
She always shares everything with me, but hardly about her relationship,
She is that type of girl, never talk too much about thing she is not sure about,
I just know that she was in a complicated one, too complicated to explain but she expected on it so much.
That guy cared about her “enough”, did “enough” things for her,
Just “enough” to give her hope, but not “enough” to make her feel safe.
But she trusted him and did not force him to make clear their relationship,
That balance state lasted about half and a year.
Then something happened, something pushed her to ask him in word: “What do I mean to you?”
And his answer really broke her heart, a fragile heart: “Just friend, a very very good friend” .
When telling me about that, she just said simple word,
“I was broken up… actually, I am even not in the place of a being broken up girl”.
Just few word but I can feel how courage she was, talking about it without bursting into tears.
I have been through something like hers, not exactly, but still a complicated relationship,
It happened 6 years ago,
I said that the relationship was absolutely over now, and I am totally over him, but actually I am not.
I even don’t have courage to let him make clear about us,
Just let it be and hope that someday miracle will happen, to let us be a couple or make me really be over him.
After that “accident”, I always try to clear every “complicated” relationships,
People say that I am too serious about it, that will make me lonely in this world ’cause boys hate that.
Actually, I am not a “cold” girl, just my heart cant stand any crack, even the slightest.
6 years ago, I was so naive, believe in everything I saw, every word I heard,
And the result was I hurt myself,
Never let it happen again.
Boys are so selfish, both in our stories,
They made you believe then took it from you without consideration at the time you least expected.
Or just we were so blind, trust too much in something “suppose to be concrete but actually a bubble” .
Girl should take care of herself,
Don’t rely on anyone who do not share your bloodline, especially boys.
It is raining outside.
And I am still stuck with a relationship, cannot move on…